I've been alternately productive and non-productive today. I updated my resume, had it reviewed by three people, implemented their suggestions, printed it out, and filled out the forms to get me started with the university career services people, all of which I'm dropping off to them tomorrow. I did some research into fields I would like to go into, realized that much to my glee the salaries in said fields are rather higher than I thought, and hunted down a couple of specific companies to investigate more closely.

I also did a ton of dishes, tidied a number of things that have been just flopping about, and then took the remainder of the afternoon to fiddle about, because I was waiting on final edits on the resume from people and didn't want to start sending stuff out until I had all the corrections.

My head hurts. Pout.

But I has a wrenbow, and that is awesome.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who commented with supportive words yesterday; I really appreciate it and you all are awesome. ♥

I think I shall go curl up with a book for a while.

Tags: the great job hunt, work stuff
Hearing: Nat swearing repeatedly at FF6

--"purifying masque" thing feels really frickin weird on my face.
--The people responsible for casting the live-action version fo Avatar are incredible fucktards and need a clue-by-four right pronto.
--Office Christmas party today. Oh. My. God. Food to die for. more on that in a minute
--Related to point #3, I was out of work 2 hours early and now have 8 hours of uninterrupted P4 time.
--Ohfuck Yuletide.
--snuggly cat is snuggly.

So yeah, Office Christmas party, at the local country club. There was a tomato bisque, which was, you know, a tomato bisque. Entree was salmon in plum sauce, which was divine, along with rice and really really thinly sliced vegetables. It was so fantastic. I wish I could replicate it.

Okay, this goopy stuff needs to come off my face, and then there is Persona!

Tags: beware! girly post, work stuff

Today was made of cranky. Drowned in paperwork, had hissy fits over things I know I overreacted to (many blessings to celeloriel, intorporeal, and Jeremy, all of whom put up with my flailing and irritable bitching), and was basically very very busy.

It gets better from here, though. I am determined!

Tags: life should be easier, work stuff
Feeling: determined

So it was 90 degrees here today, and also 70% humidity, and the a/c in our office was fritzing. which, you know, fine, whatever, except that when I was talking to my boss I totally had a moment of vision going grey and room spinning around me, and apparently my skin colour noticeably altered and I had to sit down. And so my boss was freaking out and I was very "meh, I'll be fine in a minute." super double plus ungood. bringing more water tomorrow although they had guys fiddling with the a/c today so maybe I will be freezing instead. Still have a splitting headache, but at least I have water. And I ate. those were good things.

am only profoundly grateful that my office is in the basement, which will suck a nut come winter but is SO NICE right now while it's hot and we can be cooler.

um. stuff? Yes. We went back to the previously-mentioned game store, where they were not quite fully set up (they basically only had Warhammer stuff out, which is fine if you do Warhammer but if you are me then it's not so shiny.) It was fun, and we had foods afterward, and some only vaguely related awkward conversations happened. It was good shinies.

We had set up a time to play Mage, but that is likely going to be out the window now thanks to Melzer getting sent to Florida next week, and I am wroth.

In other news, Kushiel's Mercy OMFG! The non-spoiler version is that this book is epic awesome and win and is much more in the vein of the first trilogy than the other two Imriel books, and I am very very happy with this development.

Okay. Back to catching up on two days' worth of LJ reading since I haven't really done ANYTHING of use since Kushiel's Mercy arrived on Tuesday. FOr various reasons, not all of which were related to that, but anyway.

BOOKS ARE SHINY. I DEMAND MORE READINGS.

Tags: kushiel's legacy, oops, work stuff
Feeling: drained

Went for a long walk. Am now frozened. I have now, ten minutes after getting into the house, unthawed enough to actually type.

I read a ton of Dragon-Blooded at work today. Guys, guys, if you love me at all, amuse me on GoogleTalk while I'm at work. PLEASE. lassarina dot aoibhell at google dot com. (If you add me I may not show up right away, you might have to send me an email and have me reply first, but seriously. DYING OF BOREDOM.) Email works too! Just ask Sev.

Am going to continue to thaw.

We could sit on the shore
We could just be friends
Or we could jump in
The whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop it spinning
We could think it through
But I don't want to if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came
With nothing to lose
I don't want to if you don't want to
But I want to

Tags: work stuff
Feeling: cold

First day at new job was....strangely lacking in mind-shattering frenetic activity and stress. I seem to have survived it without super extra plus putting my foot in my mouth. Still must decide what on earth I think I am wearing tomorrow, although sabrielrose has saved me some time and money by assuring me I need not acquire navy heels to go with my navy suits (she says black heels are fine. This confuses me, but calhin agrees with her although my mother does not. *shrug*)

I came home fussy and headachey, which involved some stomping around, followed by a squabble with Melzer over really random rules questions which wrenbow defused and then there were apologies and smoothing over of issues. I couldn't make up my mind what I wanted to do, so I started re-reading Kushiel's Dart for...what is this, the fourth time? Fifth? Between that, some chocolate, and some other things I am in a much better mood.

btw, this whole new job thing? If for no other reason, it would rock my socks for the fact that I can leave my house at 8:15-8:20, arrive at work by 8:45, leave at 5, and be home by 5:30ish. Compare to previous scenario: stagger out of the house at 6:30, arrive at work at 7:15, leave at 4, and get home at 5. so much extra sleep omg. Of course it would help if last night's sleep hadn't been severely disrupted by nightmares of being stuck in an infinite loop at the old job with the worst of the worst customers I had in the past 3.5 years, which woke me up at 5:30 this morning making pathetic whimpering sounds and clinging to cat and teddy bear alike.

okay. sleepies now.

Tags: work stuff
Feeling: sleepy

I just found a perfectly lovely little Balthier/Ashe on the Pit. It was decently written (if a trifle florid), spell-checked and grammar-checked, and had a good command of imagery. It was also very sweet and had the happy ending I wish they could have, so I left a happy review with compliments.

And yet, I find that the fic itself leaves me feeling slightly disappointed. Not because the author didn't do a good job, and not because it was poorly-written fluff or anything like that, but because on some level I just can't accept a happy ending for them. At least not without some dramatic rewriting of canon. It's kind of like how I can enjoy (and have written) Larsa/Penelo fluff and yet it rings false to me.

I am obviously too picky, and have marinated far too long in my own angst. Time to go play with Kain, who steadfastly refuses anything resembling a happy ending. :D

In other news! Yesterday was my last day at the job I've had since I graduated college. My shift ended at 4, and I hung around a while and talked to people. There was cake. When I walked out of the buidling at 4:45, it felt like a huge weight slid off my shoulders. It was amazing. People said very nice things about how I will be missed; Steve, one of the older guys on the team, gave me a hug and a paternal kiss on the top of the head and said I would be very much missed and he wished me well in the future. Our client manager said she wanted me to email her and let her know how the new job goes, and wished me the best.

We went to Cubby Bear for celebrating, joined by several folks who've left our team over my tenure there (like asoniel), and then I came home and did a victory dance. My mother concert-called me from the George Strait concert *headshake* which was hilarious. I couldn't tell which song it was, but I txted her back and said "Nice!" and she comes back with "Oh yeah, he's still hot" and I'm like Jesus Christ, Mom, do not say these things to me, I really do not need to know you're still fantasizing over him and have been for almost thirty years.

Melzer was in a mood to do something that did not involve staying in the house, so we went to see The Bank Job. Somehow from the previews I was expecting a moderately lighthearted caper movie, a la The Italian Job, which it ended up not being. I will say, though, that there was fairly little violence actively on screen (maybe about 3-4 minutes' worth of film) and it was well-placed for maximum impact. Overall, good movie, even if I had to cringe and hide my eyes a couple times. Then again, I cringe and won't watch for parts of Boondock Saints as well, which I consider an amazing movie and have watched multiple times.

Well, I'm not getting anything useful done sitting like a slug in my computer chair. Time to go sit like a slug in bed instead, and read Exalted. I have discovered all manner of interesting things to throw at my game in The White Treatise/The Black Treatise. Cue a smirk of utter glee.

Tags: movies, work stuff
Feeling: tired
Hearing: Final Fantasy IX OST - Disc 1 - Track 9 - Jesters of the Moonless Sky

Watched more of Buffy season 5 tonight. Cried through both episodes. Thanks, Joss, you're killing me over here.

In reading terms, I've been super productive. I finished Compass of Celestial Directions: The Wyld and Compass of Terrestrial Directions: The West in the last 3 days. Also saw the end of Avatar Season 1. Actually accomplishing things on my to-do list? Shocking!

....This does not, however, appear to include kinkfest prompts. Oops. ....Fail, Rina.

Work is seriously killing me this week. I wonder if the impending lack of same is making it seem worse. Or perhaps it is just lack of sleep.

Minor crisis averted this evening in way of the heat - it died, you see, and the house was freezing this morning when we woke up, and had not improved by this evening, at which point we realized the heat was off. Boo. It is fixed, now, and all things are toasty. This is good.

I am rambly and full of incoherence, so probably time to end this now.

Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, work stuff
Feeling: sad

I'm not actually planning revenge on anyone, but I adore this song. The opening lines are as follows:

State the obvious: I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realized you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go ahead and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay

It just makes me giggle out loud. A lot. And bounce and/or dance. And turn the radio up to max when it comes on.

...There is nothing else of import to say at the moment. Except, yay Phoenix Wright and why why why why why do I have this thing for rivals?

....Back to things that *don't* make me try to justify rivalships. Like, for example, Lost Odyssey. Kaim and Sarah FTW!

I lied, there totally is something else of import to say. I turned in two weeks' notice at current job on Friday. New job starts Monday 7th April.

Cue panic, but a happy panic. :)

Tags: music, work stuff
Feeling: chipper
Hearing: Taylor Swift - Picture to Burn

You know, I'm a pretty slow person, on a lot of things. But even I can figure out that when I have a headache every day that I'm at work, and I *don't* have a headache on days I am not at work, that the headache is probably tied to job stress.

That is not a good thing.

Tags: work stuff
Feeling: sore
Hearing: Bryan Adams - Straight From The Heart

I really have no idea what to write for today's entry. Witness the fact that I very nearly forgot to do it. Two more days and I can not worry about whether I posted to my LJ on any given day. That'll be nice.

I have noticed that I am far more relaxed when I fly back to Chicago from Maryland, than when I fly out. When I flew home for Thanksgiving, I was in an absolute panic at every tiny jostle of the aircraft. (yes, I know I am some ridiculously high number of times more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash. This does not prevent me being terrified of turbulence because in a car I am not thirty thousand fucking feet above the ground. It's just different, okay?) When I flew bakc on Sunday night, I was very relaxed and mostly slept through the flight.

I think this ties into relative stress levels. By the time I left work last Wednesday, I was pretty much ready to explode. When I got back from Thanksgiving, I was very chill and contented, such that I didn't even care that my flight was delayed two hours and I wasn't going to get enough sleep to be ready to deal with work in the morning.

Then I went to work, and exploded right back into a ball of stress.

The thing is, a year ago, I wasn't half this spazzed about work. This year has been getting progressively worse and worse and my coping mechanisms appear to not be functioning any longer.

Anyone got de-stress suggestions? =/

Tags: stress, travel, work stuff
Feeling: stressed

Ugh. It has been such an ungodly long week. And I haven't even gotten to play Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn yet :(

I got a ridiculously awesome new idea last night, which is unfortunate because it shares many aspects with my other novel, and I'm not really sure I can pull that one off. But I guess I'll try.

Tomorrow is 4+ hours of training (oh, my god, but at least there's money) and then trip to Carmax to find out how much they'll give me for the monstrous beast, and then home with wrenbow and Fire Emblem. At least that last bit will rock the house.

We played Ravenloft last night. I found out some really cool stuff about how Downey's been running the game. I also remembered that being the cleric can be fun. (Jeremy and herod_the_nut are still the emo-est Lightbringers ever.)

Call of Duty 4 appears to be heinously buggy, from watching rage_goblin play it. Disappointing and frustrating for him. (I feel bad watching him have to do this segment seventy times.)

Alright. Off to ramble to myself and finish my daily readings, and then bed, I think.

Tags: ravenloft, work stuff
Feeling: tired
Hearing: Joe playing Call of Duty 4

Work is trying to kill me. 6 hours of overtime in the last 4 days. *falls over* Actually I think more than that, but I don't remember how much I worked last Wednesday. So it might be more. Another hour tomorrow, another on Thursday...well, at least it'll cover my first car payment.

Amazing how short your "real" day is when you leave the house at 6:20 and you get home at 7 pm :(

But, on the plus side, moneys! And I had an interview today for a non-CS-based position in the company. I think I rocked some of the questions and there was one I was way less sure on, so I don't know. But hopefully good things!

Have decided not to participate in ff_het challenge. I will still write the story, just not on this timeline. I spent some of this evening reading all the stuff I bookmarked this month "to get to later."

Things to do tonight:

1. Change Lunarpages billing to different card.

Things to do in next two days:

1. Pay bills.
2. Finish clearing out backlog of "to-read" bookmarks
3. Quality time with FF Tactics: Lion War (which guide I finally managed to pick up after three weeks of searching! I like my EB guys, they held on to a copy for me.)

Bad tomorrow: No lunch with rage_goblin due to overtime, meaning I don't actually get a lunch.

Good tomorrow: End of month! Call volume should be a little lower as I *think* the brunt of it hit Monday (Oh God do not want to remember Monday) and today.

I am clearly too tired to continue writing on LJ. Time to go annoy persona some more. And possibly pet wrenbow for that she is writing a paper and clearly deserves pets.

Tags: money stuff, slightly dead of overtime, work stuff
Feeling: tired

Rennaissance Faire was exhausting. Not quite as brutally hot as last year - only 90s, instead of 100s - but far muggier, I think. I am a sweaty mess. Also I was very good and reminded myself not to buy any shinies since I need money for other things. like a PSP and FFT Lion War, oh yes.

I am now exhausted and headachey and cranky, and therefore not going to see rage_goblin tonight which is sad. cuddles would be yay. but instead I will go rinse myself off in the shower and then crawl into bed and collapse, because gods, tomorrow morning is going to be ARSE with having to find my way round the new office and I am willing to bet I turn into the wrong parking lot at the beginning of the day because I'm not good at active thought early in the morning.

rar.

Tags: rar!, renaissance faire, work stuff

Total number of people on my team: 16.
People calling out today for various reasons: 3.
People leaving early for various reason: 1.

Meglet headdesks so far: 17.

Should have listened to yi_sen but then I'd feel super guilty on Monday.

Tags: work stuff

So, other people appear to be able to post proper entries now, so I'm going to have a go at the same.

It's been a very full weekend. I just switched my schedule at work from 8-4:30 to 7:30-4. It makes a very small difference in when I leave home, but a huge difference for my commute, and I'm all about that. Friday was pretty stressful overall at work, which was sad panda, but then I got home and rage_goblin came by. We ended up going out to the restaurant where we had our first date, and then walked back to my apartment the long way through NU's campus. Of course, a thunderstorm started as we were meandering through the Shakespeare Garden, so we got soaked to the skin. It was okay though. ^_^;

Saturday consisted of: going to Noodles & Co with wrenbow, stopping by Barnes and Noble so she could pre-order her copy of Harry Potter 7, wandering past EB where I yielded to temptation and bought a copy of RPG Maker 3. Then we came back home and played a whole lot of FF12. There was also Joy Yee's. Hurrah.

Yesterday consisted of Enchanted Arms with rage_goblin. Today was just brutal terribleness at work, and I am full of sulk. However, I beat the Dragon's Den in FF6 Advance, and I am made of win and awesome and conquering. Time to move on to FF5 Advance.

Tags: final fantasy v, final fantasy vi, final fantasy xii, nat is happy shinies, rpg maker 3, work stuff
Feeling: irritated

Been a productive night, KH-wise. I beat Oogie-Boogie, another section of Hundred Acre Wood, and Neverland. I gave the Herc cup a couple of tries, but Herc got me the first time and then for some reason Cloud became awesome the second go-round, so I'll go back and try that again tomorrow.

And then after that, I've just got to finish Hundred Acre Wood, do Hollow Bastion, and then the end of the world and I'm set. Oh, and track down all the extras and beat the Hades Cup so I can get the perfect ending.

Anyway. I think it's shower time now.

And people need to get their asses back to work, seriously. My capacity for increased workload is strained to the breaking point and I cannot get everything done tomorrow that needs to be done all by myself even if I work through lunch and try to double-task on calls. It's not going to happen.

Tags: kingdom hearts, video games, work stuff
Feeling: cranky

The leaves are turning, leaving the trees a mass of gold and red flame that is transient, but oh, so beautiful (perhaps the more so for its fleeting nature). It's starting to get cooler. This afternoon was a crisp sixty-something degrees, and I wished I had my jacket.

Got about 550 words written on a Kain fic for 30enemies today. Yays.

Also I played some KH tonight. Did most of Halloween Town, save for beating the boss; I just saved because it was 10:30 and I was like "OK, bed."

Anyway. I don't really have much of interest to say other than that. Except that I bloody well hope my various contributions at work are not going unnoticed. I don't think they are, but good Lord. Now I'm doing someone else's projects in addition to mine, because that person is out sick. Like I don't have enough to do on my own. *headdesk*

Tags: fanfic, kingdom hearts, scenery, video games, weather, work stuff, writing
Feeling: sleepy

Cause starting to cry at work out of sheer frustration and stress certainly demonstrates your professionalism and competence.

Tags: stress, work stuff
Feeling: ugh how can I be this stupid

Today was a very long day at work, overtime to finish up Imaging notwithstanding. I was so irked by the time I got home that I promptly changed and went out for a long wandering. I felt better when I got back. Pierogies helped! And now I have chocolate ice cream, which makes everything better.

I also finished reading Kushiel's Scion, which is just as fantastic as one might hope. Imriel's very much the other side of the coin from Phédre in a way that Joscelin is not, and I liked it a lot. And now I must wait forever and a day for the next book, but in the meantime I've the five Michael A. Stackpole books that Melzer loaned me, and I've not read the Godslayer/Banewreaker duology, either.

On another note, I saw something today on my way home and it reminded me. Whenever I see the words "Self Storage," my first thought is not so much of a space where one stashes one's belongings, but of the notion of being able to take one's self and move it somewhere else. It's like the bit in Neverwhere when you can keep your life in a box. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if you could take your mind or spirit or whatever and put it away somewhere until you need it again. I think work wouldn't frustrate me nearly as much if I could send my automaton self there and the real me could be somewhere else, thinking deep thoughts or meditating or just enjoying the sunlight.

This reminds me that I'm still trying to decide what I'll do for the Solstice this year. At the moment, given the lack of open space in my bedroom in which I might perform a ritual, I'm strongly tempted to go to the Shakespeare Garden and meditate for a while.

I'm rambling, and I'm tired. I think I'm going to go grab the DS and play New Super Mario Bros. for a little while, and maybe try to get some writing done. But since my wrists ache, mayhaps I'll just play some video games instead.

Tags: kushiel's legacy, mario bros, ramble, random, wicca, work stuff
Feeling: drained